Weird Collaboration Assignment

Pink: Me

Blue: Jerrell

The Reporter That Asked Weird Questions

A reporter arrives in town, and started asking the inhabitants odd questions.

"Would you think the weather would kill an elephant in a corn field?", "How tall was the monster", "Would Brittany Spears bring sexy back?" The townspeople only looked at eachother curiously. They had no answers for this strange reporter.

And yet, the reporter kept on. "How many oranges can fit in the empire state building?" A little boy answered "As many as you would like".The reporter found that the town had a giant ant problem. One girl responded "This assignment makes no sense." A man asked the reporter "From where do you come from?" The reported pointed down the road and said "That way." Then the reporter suddenly asked "How much ant bait is used in the sewers?"

Suddenly, from one of the storm drains, a huge ant appeared and grabbed the reporter in his mandibles and crushed him to bits. Miraculously his voice was still heard. No one knew where it came from and how. A dog picked up his vocal chords and ate them, and his voice was never heard again. The end.

TEAHCHRR RTI)SDO

Today I have to write tips to teachers for teaching. Haha, that's a tongue-twister! Tips to teachers for teaching...

My first tip would be... I think it's always nice when a teacher gets to know the students as individuals. That way, you feel like you're friends with your teacher. This is true vice-versa, as well. I think the teacher should tell the students about his or herself. I also think it's important that the teacher has a sense of humor.

My second tip is concerning rewards. I think that students need to have positive feedback for doing well. Maybe a piece of candy or a homework pass, but really anything is good. Even just saying "Oh, good job on your test, Johnny!" or something like that.

My third tip is breaks. I think that there should be some free time during classes. Just a few minutes is nice enough. Also, for Christ sakes... Let the students use the bathroom! I once had a teacher who would take points off your grade for using the bathroom, coughSANTANIELLOcough.

The next tip is about being too strict. Nobody likes a stickler for rules. Don't get all harsh on students for sending a quick text, or chewing some gum. It's not a big deal, and students will only dislike you for doing so.

My last tip is concerning assignments. Don't give your students hours of homework a night, and don't just assign book "busy" work. That's boring, and students will quickly lose interest and start doing something else.

B+VALENTINE='S DAY LIMERICKS

I once met a man named Chad.

His breath smelled really bad.

He gave me a rose,

while he looked at his toes;

and it sure did make me mad!

I once saw a couple at lunch

after they'd just finished brunch.

The man spilled his drink,

on her dress so pink

And she gave his nose a big punch.

I once knew a kid named Kyle,

and this guy had no style.

He liked me a lot,

and I did not.

I was happy when he moved to the Nile.

There once was a sad, lonely man,

who spent all his days on 4chan.

He chatted with babes

on the forums all day

until he discovered his ban.

I once met a man named Nate,

who dreamed he was on a date.

The girl's name was Sherry,

and boy, was she hairy!

He decided she was not his soul mate.

"How about a kiss... for luck?"

TEXTING & DRIVING

Today, I have to blog about texting and driving. Texting and driving is stupid and reckless and puts lives in danger. I shouldn't even have to say that, because it's common sense. I do have a friend that texts while I'm in the car with her, and I don't personally text while I'm driving. I think that there should be something done about it, because it really is a problem. However, I don't believe that it's the government's job to enforce rules like that. I've heard about a new device in cars that automatically puts the phone on bluetooth when you get in. Something about not letting you use your phone in the car... I dunno. That video was a bit long for television, in my opinion. Maybe if they shortened it and had some kind of message at the end. But yeah, blah blah blah it's bad, don't do it.

PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE ASSIGNMENT

"Don't worry about life, you're not going to survive it anyway."

This is my quote and picture for the assignment. I chose this quote because it's the truest of them all. While picking out a quote, I read a lot of ones about love, or living for others, friendship and things like that, which are alright... But, I decided that this one spoke to me the most. It's short, simple and to the point, and it's 100% true. There's no sense in worrying so much about life because we all die in the end; just enjoy and die. I chose the picture because, well, just like the dinosaurs, we'll all be dead one day, too. Things aren't lookin' too good for that hadrosaur, though... At least I'm not going to get attacked by a pack of deinonychus anytime soon.

I HATE GLOGSTER

But I love Demon's Souls. >:)

LIFE OF PI

I know I've posted it before, but I feel like it's fitting...